What are the pros and cons of telecommuting (aka working remotely) when you are a mom of small children?
During the pandemic, I was fortunate to have a job that allowed me to work remotely from the comfort of my home while being present for my first child’s milestones. In the beginning, I set up a makeshift desk that gave me somewhat of a sense of organization. Slowly, as I realized I would probably be working remotely for a while, I decided to create my own home office – just a nook in my bedroom that helped me separate my work-life from home-life.
As someone who was used to going into the office in-person 5 days a week, this was very new to me. I had always been a big believer in taking care of work at work and taking care of home/family matters at home. I rarely brought work home.
That’s why when I started remote working for the first time during the pandemic, I learned so much about myself and what I needed as a working mom in order to feel refreshed. While there were pros such as better work-life balance and increased productivity, there were also cons such as feeling isolated from colleagues and managing boundaries between work and family.
Pros of Telecommuting for Mothers
Better Work-Life Balance
The truth is, I only started prioritizing my family when I became a mom. I realized that I had been spending a lot of time commuting to and from work – 1.5 to 2 hours per day. And when you multiply that by 5 (5 days working in-person at the office), it is quite shocking how much time I was losing.
So when I started working remotely, I had an opportunity to work on creating a balance between my professional life and being there for my spouse and kids. As a mother of two small children, I experienced these benefits of telecommuting:
1. Being there for important moments and milestones:
I was able to attend school events and not have to worry about missing a whole day of work. I simply took a short work break and went to support my oldest at his school event. Most of the time, it lasted only an hour, and since it was in the neighborhood, I was able to quickly get back home and continue my work responsibilities. My son was happy to see me and my work didn’t suffer since I did not have to miss a whole day.
I remember working remotely during the pandemic and was happy to be there to witness some precious milestones when he was a baby – like sitting up, crawling, and learning to walk. As a first-time mom, this was exciting to witness.
2. Flexible work arrangements to accommodate personal life:
I can honestly say that telecommuting has given me the ability to design a work schedule around my family’s needs.
For example, every parent with small kids knows that there are always doctor’s appointments to attend. On the day I know that I’ll have to take one or both of my kids to the doctor, I rearrange my work hours. For example, I wake up early before my kids wake up to work a few hours, especially when I have major deadlines or urgent tasks. Because doctor’s appointments take a while and I’m not sure when I’ll get back home and be able to work, this method allows me to take care of important work commitments.
3. Being able to complete the salah on time:
On my remote days, I can pray 2-3 prayers (zuhr, asr, and maghrib) at home. On the days I commute, there is always a risk that the train will be delayed. And often that happens and I get home 15-20 minutes after the time for prayer comes in. This leaves me frazzled since I feel I am rushing through salah and not in my calmest state.
Reduced Stress Levels
While I have resumed going back to the office in-person in recent years, I still work remotely a few days a week. When comparing the days I come back home after commuting vs. when I finish work on a telecommuting day, I can confidently say that there is a big difference in my stress levels.
I’m not the only one, apparently. Many people feel stressed when commuting especially when the commute is long or difficult. You can read the research on the mental impacts of commuting to work here.
On my remote days, I can hope for these advantages.
1. Avoiding commuting and traffic-related stress:
I save time by avoiding a 45-60 min commute which is often filled with train delays, leading me to spend longer hours outside of my home. Not only do I get two hours back in my day, but feelings of frustration and exhaustion associated with the commute don’t occur on these remote days.
On those mornings, I look forward to a tranquil work environment where I don’t feel the need to rush through work tasks in order to leave to catch the train on time.
After a day of working remotely and not having to deal with train delays, I am able to be calm and fully present for my kids in the evening.
2. Creating a cozy and comfortable work environment at home: Working from home allows me to design an office space with my personal preferences. I can brighten or dim my lights without bothering any colleagues. I can put on a Quran recitation or nasheed while I work. I can have a diffuser going if I feel the need for certain essential oils. I can take proper rest during my break. The list is endless but the point is that I have the freedom to do anything that I feel boosts my productivity and helps my mental health.
Greater Productivity
I find that telecommuting helps a great detail with my productivity by minimizing distractions and allowing me to have a work schedule according to my most productive hours. For example:
1. Minimizing distractions in the office environment: Most of the time, going into the office means dealing with constant interruptions and distractions that make it hard to get my most important tasks done. On my remote days, I don’t have to worry about common distractions like interruptions from colleagues, unnecessary meetings, or office noise, allowing me to focus more efficiently on my tasks and deliver exceptional results.
2. Having the flexibility to work during the most productive hours: As a mother of two small children who get sick very often and are home from school, I find that I have the most energy and focus in the early morning hours, which give you the most barakah (blessings) by the way and in the evenings after 8:00 pm when the kids are asleep. Telecommuting is amazing since I can adjust my work hours to fit my peak performance hours.
Cost and Time Savings
Have you ever noticed how much money you spend throughout the day when working an in-person 9-5 job? Buying a train fare, picking up a coffee and/or even a bagel on the way to work really adds up! And what about when you have to attend in-person meetings? A meeting that really should be thirty minutes turns into an hour, a loss of valuable time. In my experience, working remotely helps you save money and time since communication tends to be quick and efficient.
1. You save on car fuel costs or commuting fares (if you take public transportation). By working from home, you can significantly reduce or eliminate the expenses associated with commuting, such as fuel costs, parking fees, or public transportation fares. You could use the saved money for things your family needs or for yourself.
2. Not spending money on eating out: I don’t know about you, but when you have small kids, things don’t go as planned. I end up rushing out of the house without having had breakfast and not having packed lunch for work. The result: spending $10+ for a simple breakfast sandwich with coffee at the coffee shops and almost $20 on lunch. It seems outrageous, but these are real prices if you live in a busy city. On my telecommuting days, however, you can be sure, I’m not walking out of my house to buy coffee.
2. Saving time and having productive meetings: Unlike during in-person meetings, you don’t have to wait in a physical room with a bunch of people until the meeting organizer shows up or has their presentation ready. Instead, meetings happen virtually, where you can join via computer or a wireless device (ie. phone or iPad). Usually, while I am waiting for the host to start the meeting, I work on other tasks without feeling like I am being rude. In addition, if I feel like a meeting is running long and there is no real need for me to be there any longer, I find it easy to chat with the organizers privately to let them know I am leaving. I find this easier and respectful than having to interrupt them during a physical meeting.
In short, the pros of telecommuting for me have been better work-life balance, less stress, better productivity, and saving time and money.
You can learn in-depth about statistics on productivity while working from home here.
Cons of Telecommuting for Mothers
Feelings of Isolation
In the beginning, after getting used to working in the office five days a week, it was weird not having the usual social interaction all of a sudden with my supervisors, colleagues, and team members. The small talk in the elevators, halls, and cafeteria was a small part of my day, but it really did help me stay connected with my workplace community. All of a sudden, at the start of the COVID pandemic, I started working remotely five days and had limited face-to-face interaction with colleagues. Of course, I saw my colleagues during Zoom calls, but it was just not the same as working in an office environment.
I ended up feeling lonely, isolated, and not motivated.
Blurred Boundaries between Personal and Professional Life
Working remotely can blur the lines between personal and professional life if you are not careful. I would often feel tempted to respond to emails outside of my work hours, especially during the time I was supposed to spend with my kids. Or I would complete a work task that could easily wait until the next day.
This was definitely really difficult when my oldest was a baby and the daycares closed down at the beginning of the pandemic. He needed a lot of attention and since we didn’t have any family members to help us at home, my husband and I took turns working. I often felt guilty attending to him during my work hours.
When things went back to normal and I was again able to get a childcare provider, I found it difficult to stop the habit of working after 5:00 pm. I had gotten used to doing this during the pandemic in order to make up time lost during the day when I had to tend to my son.
It took a while, but I eventually established and stuck to a structured work schedule that didn’t encroach on my personal and family life. After having my second child, I now realize the risks of having an “always-on” mentality. Work is important but mental health and family life are much more important to me now as a mother of two.
Best Practices for Working Remotely as a Mother
In my experience working remotely, especially as a mom, there are a few things you need to do to feel productive without sacrificing family time.
Set Up a Home Office
1. Allocate a special workspace: Choose a dedicated spot in your home for work. It could be a separate room or even a corner in a room. For me, I know I needed a quiet place without the distraction of family members walking around or talking. So, I set up my desk in a corner of a bedroom away from TV noise, the kitchen and living room.
2. Create a comfortable environment: Personalize your workspace with things that make you happy and motivated. For example, drawings by your child or print-outs of quotes that you admire. Also, make sure your chair is comfy, and the lighting is good to keep you feeling great during work hours.
Establish a Clear and Structured Work Schedule
1. Define work hours and breaks: Create a schedule that clarifies when you’ll be working and when you’ll take breaks. If you have supervisors and colleagues that tend to expect you to complete work tasks and answer emails outside of your work hours, it’s important to let them know what your work hours and breaks will be.
2. Communicate with your family: Talk to your family about your availability and boundaries during work hours. Set expectations and let them know when it’s okay to ask for your attention. Also, ensure that you have a childcare provider while you work. This is important when you have small children who need a lot of attention. It’s virtually impossible to focus on work when you also have children who are not yet able to fully care for themselves.
Take Advantage of Technology for Effective Communication
1. Embrace video calls and meetings: Take advantage of video calls and meeting software to connect with your colleagues. You would be surprised how seeing each other’s facial expressions can foster a sense of connection and help build stronger work community.
2. Stay connected with your colleagues: Are you dealing with some stressful situations that are work-related? While it’s now hard to walk next door or to the nearby cubicle of your favorite co-worker to discuss the issue and get their thoughts, why not email or message them? By staying in frequent contact with your colleagues, you can even stay updated on company news, project progress, and other colleagues’ updates. Additionally, you can utilize team or project management tools to actively participate in virtual discussions and initiatives. This will help you stay connected and involved.
Maintain Work-Related Professionalism
1. Dress like you are actually at work for video meetings: I know. The best thing about working from home is that you can even work in your pajamas. However, for video meetings, it’s essential to dress professionally to boost your confidence and demonstrate your commitment.
2. Deliver quality work and meet deadlines: As a Muslim, I always make it a priority to complete my work to the best of my ability, whether I am working in-person or remotely. Strive for excellence in your work and make sure to meet your deadlines. Communicate any challenges or delays proactively. By consistently delivering high-standard work, you’ll be seen as a dedicated and reliable employee.
By following these simple tips, you can have a great telecommuting work experience as a mom.
Final Thoughts
Having the opportunity to work remotely at least a few days a week has really helped me maintain better balance in my life. After my second son was born, I was even more grateful because it meant I could be fully present for both of my children and still be an amazing employee.
Yes, there are definitely challenges and cons of remote work, but by using the best practices I mentioned above, you can eventually get to a point where you can be present for your family’s needs while pursuing your professional goals.
Remember, as moms of small children, we need to take it one step at a time. Be forgiving, compassionate to yourself, and most of all, learn to love yourself no matter where you are in your professional journey as a mom.
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